MovieFight Winner: Hook (1991)

08/10/2016  By  Jordan Saïd     No comments

About a month ago, the world voted on the better movie, choosing between Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and Hook (with Fist of the North Star as the Ross Perot/Gary Johnson option). You may wonder what took so long for us here at Front Row Central to call the verdict. Of course, I had the article done long ago, but I used my magical divination powers to predict that in one month, 22 Vision would round up most of the actors who played the Lost Boys and have them do a photo-shoot for Hook’s 25th Anniversary.

It doesn’t appear that Jasen Fisher (“Ace”) got back in costume, but some awkward Photoshop wizardry fixed that right up. His careers as professional poker player (circa 2009) or professional golf caddy (2012) must keep him busy. On the bright side, he made the Parenthood reunion four years ago, so don’t think he doesn’t care about your childhood.

22 Vision’s skill at tracking down former child actors far exceeds their skill with the clone brush.

As luck would have it, Hook’s 25th anniversary came just in time for that movie to win our first MovieFight, with 53% of the vote!

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Read some of our best Facebook comments below. (Names omitted to save you the trouble of asking us to remove them on that far-distant day that you want to run for public office but you don’t want the Internet to know you prefer Hook to a Mad Max movie. I also fixed some spelling and grammar, because I care.)

“While there’s no question Hook has the better orchestral score, Thunderdome has the better theme song. The song from Hook is like a 5th generation copy of American Tail‘s ‘Somewhere Out There.’”

(Our very own Joe said this one! OK, I promise the other quotes after this one don’t come from us.)

“[A]sking me to choose between Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and Hook is like asking me if I would rather be kicked in the balls or have a huge birthday party with dozens of my closest friends where each of us get to enjoy an entire birthday cake.”

(We at FRC order our birthday cakes shaped like balls. Everybody wins!)

“I think ultimately it’s just too hard to watch Thunderdome because it comes bundled with that visceral sense of ‘I could be watching one of the other Mad Maxes,’ whereas Hook is an immediate portal into a delightful romp with Williams at his best.”

“I really think what sets Hook above Thunderdome was Dustin Hoffman’s portrayal of Hook, which was as iconic and memorable as Tina Turner’s Aunty Entity was forgettable. … It may also be an age thing. Thunderdome came out a year before I was born. Hook meanwhile, had the lost boys and Rufio, who for 5 Year Old Me were the definition of awesome.”

Seriously. You guys. Rufio’s tri-hawk. Still amazing at age 40.

“I was surprised to see the third option, Fist of the North Star. Once upon a time, I thought, ‘I like Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad, but after discovering them I realized how much better they are than the anime shows I used to watch. I wish HBO would adapt one so I can once again enjoy something I realized I outgrew.’ And then I discovered the HBO Fist of the North Star and went, ‘Huh, nevermind.’ But at least it was fun to watch.”

“Difficult but I choose Thunderdome ‘cause somehow all the kids in it put together aren’t as annoying as Pan’s 2 kids.”

Fun Fact: Charlie Korsmo went on to graduate MIT with a 4.0 GPA, which annoys the living shit out of my Inner Competitive Nerd. So I sympathize.

Yes, we at FRC have already started hatching ideas for more MovieFights… because fuck knows we all need all the help we can get in forgetting that 2016 is happening. If you have suggestions for movies to pit against one another, feel free to let us know! In the meantime, happy MovieFighting!

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About Jordan Saïd

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Jordan Saïd does mathematics by day and writes for Front Row Central and Turban Decay by night (and weekend). He specializes in American road films, kung fu cinema, and camp (the aesthetic, not the wilderness). He lives in Eastern Washington with five cats.

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